I went to Irish Fest last night because I do enjoy some solid Irish fiddling despite not having a drop of blood from that drunken island in my body. I don’t know how this happened exactly, but it seems that this year was the year of cultural fusion bands instead of, you know, good music. There was a band called “Drum!” which I figured would be sweet considering the strong and unique tradition of Irish drumming. Well it turned out to be a fusion of native American (native Canadian actually as they were from Nova Scotia), African drumming, Irish drumming, and one guy who looked more Jewish than Woody Allen. The show actually started with the Indian man saying “Before there were white people in my land… there was only rhythm.” I didn’t have enough tears to cry for all of the cultures that were being bastardized that night.

We got up after 2 songs and moved to the next stage. Surprise surprise, more NOT Irish music at Irish fest. This band was a Latin-Irish fusion which meant they just played Latin music but had a bag pipe play along to the horn line. The bag pipe, by the way, is Scottish. Seriously, I didn’t go to Irish fest to hear cowbell, a V I chord progression that lasts 15 minutes, and nonsense shouting of Spanish phrases.

Sadly, it was not until we found actual Irish music that the real fail started. Gaelic Storm (the guys playing at the rowdy party in Titanic) was playing at a main stage so we scoped out some bench spots and waited. Now, everybody who has been to a concert like this knows what happens. You have 3000 people sitting on benches; everybody can see the stage from the comfort of their ass. Then one person up front stands on the bench and this then ripples all the way to the back as everybody has to stand to see the show, completely defeating the purpose of benches. I knew this would happen so I stood when the time came, but somehow the row I was in turned out to be the the line of demarcation. Yes, all 1500 people in front of me were standing, all 1500 people in back of me were sitting and complaining. It seems, as the last of the assholes to stand, it was then my responsibility to sit and tell everybody else in front of me to sit as well, or so a giant crazy-bearded man kept telling me. A giant she-man, and some families also told me the same thing. We watched about half the show and then just left, hanging our heads in fail.