I was an abnormal child who liked to clean, wanted to grow up to be a garbage man, and took out frustration by laying on the sidewalk and repeatedly smashing my face into the cement. In high school I studied hard, took cello lessons, worked part time, stayed away from drugs, alcohol, and girls and failed to do anything memorable. In college I studied harder, read a lot of German, spent a lot of time alone in a practice room, and invented lots of ways to keep myself busy other than going out and having fun or doing something productive.

I now hold a B.F.A. in Music Composition, a minor in German, about 30 superfluous undergrad credits, a technical certificate in web programming, and a lot of student loan debt, yet I earn less than an average starting teacher. I currently drive a Buick Skylark which floods every time it rains. I try to enjoy exercise but at age 24 I already have ridiculously bad knees and am often incapable of handling stairs, squatting, or even walking. The manliest thing I have ever done is plant some flowers, because, you know, there was some dirt involved. Any attempt I make at doing something noteworthy falls well short of success. In summary, I am a collossal failuer failure.

I’m a musician who does not practice, compose, record, or perform anymore.
I’m a web designer/developer who thinks the internet is a waste of time.
Oh, and The last beer I home-brewed looked like a melted milkshake.