A bacon cheeseburger with fries and a beer followed by chocolate waffles and ice cream is not exactly sticking to the diet. Also, I still drank a total of 9 drinks last week despite trying to cut back on booze. Looks like I’ll need to bike extra hard to and from work this week.
15
Archive for the ‘Harmful Failure’ Category
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Monday, April 19th, 2010Simple Math
Thursday, April 15th, 2010Mostly salad diet + 3 strong German beers + 1 Irish whiskey + late night chips and salsa = less than happy stomach the next day
But I won, right?
Friday, February 19th, 2010So, last week our office held a Wii Tennis single-elimination tournament. I decided that I had a good shot at this so I would spend the weekend before training at home. I was doing so-so, but as Saturday wore on I started playing like absolute crap. In a moment of pure juvenile rage I kicked the couch and instantly regretted it. Ok, so it was more of a stomp onto the arm rest, and I apparently completely missed the cushy part of it. The corner of the wooden frame beneath the cushions dug so hard into my heel I couldn’t walk straight for another 3 days. That kind of a hobble really sucks when one must walk about 20 blocks a day, but hey, the practice paid off and I won the tournament!
Rough Night
Friday, October 30th, 2009Last night I partook in the Delafield Brewhaus Oktoberfeast party and it sure was awesome. It was so awesome in fact that the food overload kept me up all night long as my stomach struggled to churn the soup, salad, steak, scallops, mashed potatoes, cake, and beer that I crammed down my gullet.
I finally was getting some sleep when I heard an incredibly loud noise from the kitchen. I got up, saw that it was 3 in the morning and decided to investigate. What I witnessed when I walked into the kitchen was pure horror. There was a liter of beer EXPLODED all over the place. The carbonation from the secondary fermentation was enough to blow the bottom of the plastic bottle clean off and shoot the beer across the room. I cleaned this up then tried to get back to sleep.
Well, at this point my stomach still hurt and I smelled like stale beer so I was still struggling to sleep at all. I decided that I’d take some Nyquil which finally put me to sleep at about 4:30. The alarm went off two hours later and as I tried to get moving I realized that the Nyquil was hitting me hard. I guess it makes sense as the stuff is supposed to last all night. I was too foggy to even walk so I decided I’d sleep off my delirium and head into work late.
Wow.
Worse than I Thought
Thursday, September 24th, 2009It’s most likely a cartilage tear. MRI coming soon.
How Old am I?
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009I’m finally getting my knee checked out tomorrow. I hurt it the week before Easter and it’s still not quite right. Crossing my fingers and hoping for no long-term damage.
Ouch
Saturday, September 19th, 2009I played soccer yesterday on my lunch break… all by myself while wearing dress slacks and dress shoes. That twenty minutes of pointlessly kicking a ball across an empty field has left me incredibly sore and reminded me that I really should get my knee checked out by a doctor. It sure is awesome being 24 and having the leg strength of my grandma.
To the people of the downtown Milwaukee area,
Tuesday, August 25th, 2009I kindly remind you there are no stop or yield signs for traffic on State Street in between the lake and the river. Keeping this in mind, if you’re on one of the side streets and I’m cruising down State, please stop at your stop sign allowing me to drive through the intersections at which you are required to stop and I am permitted to drive, you moron.
When the bus nearly t-boned me in March I thought I may have been at fault by blowing through a 4-way, but repeated trips through that intersection verify my suspicions that the bus driver was a jackass.
A month later when a car dashed out in front of me forcing an incredible screeching stop I once again blamed myself at first. I confirmed a day later that I was not the one who missed a large, red, octagonal sign.
A few more similar incidents passed within the last few months, slowly opening the gas valve on my pilot light of rage but overall being suppressed and shoved into the dark corner of my mind where bad thoughts go to slowly eat away my sanity. Today, however, when a dippy pedestrian waltzed across the street, looked and saw me coming from a block away, continued to slowly shamble, then flipped me off, screamed, waved his arms, and pointed at the stop sign as I got close I nearly committed vehicular homicide. Yes, he actually made a point to gesture at the stop sign, his stop sign, the stop sign he was supposed to stop at, the stop sign I didn’t have.
So kids, if you see a green Buick Skylark rumbling down State Street at around 8 in the morning, please take the time to actually stop at your stop sign and we’ll all be a lot happier.
The Car… Again
Monday, August 10th, 2009I discovered another awesome feature on my car the other night. You see, I don’t really do much driving other than to work and back so it’s pretty much always light out when I’m on the road. Furthermore, if I am driving at night it’s still usually well within the city so there’s no need for using the brights. This is why I didn’t discover until a few days ago that turning on the brights actually turns the headlights completely off on my car. How handy.
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One man's attempt to get through just one day without messing something up.
September 2010 M T W T F S S « Aug 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Archives
Types of Fail
- Catastrophic Failure (22)
- Compounding Failure (29)
- Harmful Failure (11)
- Inconceivable Failure (11)
- Lingering Failure (18)
- Obscure Failure (18)
- Predictable Failure (11)
- Preventable Failure (28)
- Recurring Failure (13)
- Social Failure (11)
- Uncategorized (4)
- Uncontrollable Failure (19)